Imperfect Life

A few years ago, i thought God had found a perfect companion for me.

A few years later, i realise that the perfect companion that i thought i could have for the rest of my life, was gone.

It was definitely a sad experience but i would say it's a blessing a disguise.

Then a desire to strengthen my love in the Lord bounces back.

I was determined to have my life changed.

I admit it wasn't easy. The beginning is always the hardest.

I struggled with my unstable emotions. My emotions are like a rollercoaster.

All the temptations & immortal fleshly desires kept playing in my mind.

It made me a comdemned & guilty person, feeling responsible for all these thoughts.

Only God knows how i feel inside.

I kept blaming myself & worry endlessly.

Feeling depressed & empty, i'm tempted to seek another companion but i know that is a very foolish thing to do.

I'm just being too immature to handle my emotions.

Often, i feel that nobody will love me because i'm not a beautiful person.

I hardly think i'm really beautiful & still feel quite insecure inside.

Outwardly, i may appear cheerful but inwardly, it can be the opposite at times.

I lost something that is precious to me & i know i can never have that beautiful thing that God has given.

It is only through God that i finally find my strength & joy in HIM.

HE gives me the right company & keeps loving me.

HE changes my life, makin me feel more beautiful & loved than ever.

I admit i'm still struggling with my security & self-image.

But i realise i become calmer & able to deal with certain situations better.

Still, i face disappointment & sadness in life over certain things.

But i guess that's life.

An imperfect life.

A life that is perfect till man comes to this world.

A broken down world where people face trials & tribulations.