Saturday, July 28, 2007

I Just Realize (created on 19 June 2007)

I Just Realize

Looking at the mirror,
Dressing my best,
Putting on beautiful & cautious make up,
Combing my long & coarse hair,
Smiling at my reflection,
I thought i look great.
But when i step out of my 4 corners of my house,
I realize there are dozens of beautiful ones,
Looking at them,
I feel so envious & jealous,
I thought to myself,
If only i had a certain feature like them,
If only i had a perfect statistics,
If only i'm a supermodel,
If only i'm the most prettiest woman in the world,
Perhaps i'll be a happier person,
But i realize all these are just a fantasy & dreams.
It's just a wishful thinking of my part.
Tears streamed down as these thoughts came to my mind,
There are people complimenting about my beauty,
Yet i do not believe & feel dissatisfied,
I still feel like a piece of worhtless rug,
Then i just realize acceptance is all in the mind,
The fact is i couldn't accept myself.
I thought i did but i didn't.
Sometimes i wish i can die,
So i don't have to face the world,
Then i realise life is more than i thought,
There's so much to learn,
Not just beauty,
Not just money,
It's about living a life with purpose & face the reality.
Self esteem is so important.
I've to tell myself,
I am beautiful no matter what people said,
Words can't bring me down.

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